FRIDAY THE 13th

FRIDAY THE 13TH
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Written by Damian Shannon, Mark Swift and Mark Wheaton
Stars: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Derek Mears


Today’s young audiences are seemingly incapable of watching anything that isn’t on the new release shelf, perfect chance then for producer Michael Bay to work his way through the horror classics, retooling them into bankable box office fodder. Bay oversaw the similarly re-jigged The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which despite showing ten times more gore as the original, was a fright-less exercise in gross out and an interesting showcase for Jessica Biel’s abs. This latest revamp, of the original Friday the 13th opens with a pre credit sequence in which a group of youth’s decide to pitch tents near the fateful Camp Crystal Lake, scene of innumerable brutal slayings. After fireside ghost stories prove boring, the group pair off for: a) sexy shenanigans b) marijuana consumption and c) reckless exploration of the nearby creepy camp. Mask wearing psychopath Jason Voorhees appears and with supernatural speed, proceeds to machete; bear trap and burn anyone he sees. Of course, that’s just pre-credits. Once we’re into the ludicrously thin plot, yet another group of beautiful people venture lake-side for more partying and more needless exploration of creepy buildings. In keeping with the 80’s horror ethos, graphic nudity precedes a brutal slaying, drug use also means you’re about to cop the business end of a pitchfork and of course, gratuitous sex means you’re about to die horribly but only before you explore the creepiest, darkest room in the house asking loudly if ‘anybody’s there’. It’s almost pantomime in its “he’s behind you!” stupidity but for all its goofiness there’s still an all encompassing enjoyment in watching a bunch of reckless, hedonistic moron’s being axed to death. You’d almost think this stuff was designed to appeal.

THE INTERNATIONAL

Directed by Tom Tykwer
Written by Eric Singer
Stars: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts, Armin Mueller-Stahl

German born filmmaker Tom Tykwer is a relative late-comer to the U.S studio system, his previous feature Perfume: the Story of a Murderer, boldly attempted to make a film about the sense of smell, with predictably unsuccessful results. Tykwer is a gifted filmmaker, as was evidenced in his kinetic hit Run Lola Run, but his style constantly threatens to overwhelm any narrative substance he turns his hand to.
His latest effort sees him trying his hand at a conspiracy thriller, with mixed results.

Interpol Agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) obsessively works to destroy the International Bank of Business and Credit and bring its chief executives to justice. Aided by New York Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) Salinger travels to Berlin, Istanbul and New York in an effort to track the bank’s dodgy transactions and in the hope that he can secure a whistleblower who might be able to provide concrete evidence of the company’s illegal activities, planned from within a shadowy cabal at the centre of the bank’s operations.

Owing a cinematic debt to 70’s conspiracy thrillers such as the films of Sydney Pollack (Three Days of the Condor) and Alan J. Pakula (The Parallax View), the tepid script doesn’t quite live up to Tykwer’s taut direction. Absent character development means there’s few characters to care about and Owen straps his ‘unshaven-half asleep-deeply embittered-pom’ schtick on for one more performance, still managing to hold the audience and provide at least a semblance of intensity amidst the action. A violent shoot-out staged inside the foyer of New York’s Guggenheim museum is a highlight but with little to pull the viewer in, the enjoyment is more in the technical execution rather than emotional investment.